


your light is bright and it saves me from myself

by EllaYuki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean POV, Episode Related, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentions of Jack and Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12752604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: in between getting back to the bunker with cas, and team free will 2.0 leaving for the ghoul case, dean gets a visit from cas in his room. words are said, kisses are exchanged, and dean doesn’t feel like the world can go ahead and burn anymore.





	your light is bright and it saves me from myself

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of capital letters is INTENTIONAL. All fics written by me in 2017 are like that, so if that puts you off, I'm sorry and you are more than welcome to back out now. 
> 
> (AKA: Please STOP MENTIONING IT, it will NOT change. Thank you.)

it’s a little past one in the morning when they reach the bunker and surprise jack with cas’ comeback. it’s almost two when sam and cas manage to convince dean that no, they shouldn’t just get back in the car and head for dodge city and the new case.

they’ve just came back from a nasty case, sam reminds dean, one in which dean had been dead for well over five minutes. a lot of things have happened in the past few day. they should rest.

he enters his room and takes a deep breath.

cas is back.

_cas is back._

he’s back, he’s _alive_ , he’s _here_ in the bunker, just a few rooms away, and dean feels like something unravels from around his lungs, and the emptiness from behind his ribs fills with warmth.

he wants to go find him, talk to him, and just soak up in his presence, but he knows he can’t. not right now. right now he should sleep, should rest. he can feel the weariness in his bones, in his joints, in his muscles, and as much as he’d like to just ignore it, he knows he can’t.

and besides, cas was talking to jack, tones low, when dean and sam retired for the night. they’ll probably be at it until morning.

yes, he should sleep, dean thinks and sighs.

he drops his bag by the door, just about ready to just drop on his bed, and almost trips over the dozen or so empty beer bottles littering the floor.

right, he thinks. maybe he should tidy up a tiny bit before anything. his room’s a freakin’ mess.

he goes to the kitchen, grabs a trash bag, and goes back to his room. picks up the bottles, the wrappers, and tissues, and shoves them in the bag. picks up his dirty laundry from the chair and the corner and takes it to the laundry room. changes the bed linens, too, because it’s been a bit longer than he normally would let them.

the shower he takes relaxes the last bits of tension from his frame and by three, he’s finally ready to sleep. (he’d sleep for a couple of days, honestly, but they have a case, so he won’t.)

~

he’s almost asleep, phone charging, alarm set for seven thirty, when a soft knock comes on his door.

he grumbles, more tired than he thought he was. ‘yeah?’ is all he manages to say.

slowly, the door opens, a sliver of light from the hallway brightening up the room enough to make dean squint. ‘cas?’

‘sorry,’ cas says, sounding contrite, ‘did i wake you? i’ll let you sleep.’

‘no! no, cas, wait, i’m up, i’m up.’ dean hurries to sit up, turning on the lamp on his bedside table. ‘what’s up? everything okay?’

‘yes,’ cas says, and steps into the room, closes the door behind him. ‘everything’s fine. i just. i wanted to see how you were. sam and jack said you haven’t been alright lately.’

dean wants to groan at that. _dammit_. he didn’t think he’d have to have _this_ conversation so soon. he sighs.

‘i’m fine, cas,’ he says, rubbing his eyes with one hand. at cas’ snort, he shakes his head and adds, ‘ _now_. i’m fine _now_.’ he shrugs. ‘yeah, i wasn’t exactly in the best of places, hell, even yesterday, i’ll admit that, but now? now i feel like i might actually be able to sleep without nightmares waking me up every other hour.’

cas looks at him, quiet, for a long moment, and then lets out a long breath. ‘well, if you say you’re alright now…’

‘i am,’ and for once, dean feels like he actually means it. and after a beat, a breath, he lets himself admit. ‘you’re home, so i am.’

he looks at cas, makes himself hold the gaze head-on, and waits.

castiel looks surprised for all of a second, and then he smiles, bright. ‘it’s good to be home,’ he says, and steps closer to the bed.

~

the first kiss is soft, tentative, like they’re both afraid the other might break, might run.

the second is filled with laughter, as is the third and fourth and fifth.

the rest are almost breathless, and too many to count, and dean would like nothing more than to seal this moment in his life in amber so that he can keep hold of it forever.

~

in the morning, he tells sammy gruffly to shove off and let him sleep another couple more hours, when his brother comes knocking on his door.

he lets out an extra loud, extra obnoxious snore when sam asks if he knows where cas might be, and smothers cas’ quiet chuckles with a kiss.

~

‘really dean,’ cas all but whines later, when dean shoves a cowboy hat at him.

‘just. humour me,’ dean says with his best shit-eating grin, because he knows that, for all that cas loves to roll his eyes at him and huff in annoyance, he _will._

(and cas does.)


End file.
